Once a month, our Governing Board recognizes students from our various school sites. A board member reads a glowing review about the student and shares all of the student's fine qualities that are deserving of this prestigious award. The students are provided an opportunity to address the community after receiving this honor. Most often than not, the students express their thanks and gratitude for a teacher or teachers in their lives who have made a positive difference. They describe these teachers as kind, funny, and supportive. The teachers who are called out are said to believe in students even when they don't believe in themselves. Teachers are often given credit for influencing a student's career choice. Last evening, one of our students, a graduating senior, thanked a person she called an inspiring woman. This was her fifth grade teacher. "I can never forget her kindness and dedication to making sure each student in her class excelled, not just academically, but in our own personal confidence so that we need not hesitate for chasing our dreams." This student was so impressed with the help and support that she received from her teachers throughout her schooling that she has chosen to attend college and one day become a teacher herself.
I am reminded of Maya Angelou who is quoted as saying, "People don't remember what you said. They don't remember what you did. They remember how you made them feel." In my opinion, this is partially true. I do believe that people remember what you did and some things that you say. I believe the actions and the words may influence how you feel.
For my South Dakota friends, you can share in the memory of our first day of 7th grade entering our English class. The teacher slammed down his fist on the desk and yelled, "I hate 7th graders!" I am sure he went on to say that he didn't like 7th graders because they were the newbies to middle school. (We had a 7th - 9th grade middle school.) He probably expressed how much we had to learn in switching classes and staying organized. He might even had said how smart we'd be by the end of the year and how much we will have learned. My classmates were probably not shocked by this speech as this teacher had taught for a number of years in this small middle school. Many of my classmates had siblings who had heard this first day of 7th grade tirade. I was, however, new to the school. I hadn't developed a network of friends. I had no idea who these teachers were. I was so scared. Throughout my elementary grades, I love school! I loved all of my teachers and knew I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.
I took this teacher at his word. He hated me. Every day, I dreaded going to this teacher's class. For the first time in my life, I received a D- on a report card. I cried and begged my parents to move back to our old town. My mom finally stepped in and had a conference with the teacher. The teacher tried to explain to me it was his way of establishing classroom control. My perception changed very little in regards to this teacher that year.
Twenty some years after my 7th grade experience, my niece entered the same class with the same teacher. She laughed as she told me about the teacher's "I hate 7th graders speech." She said, "I just love that teacher. He is so funny!" This teacher became one of her favorite teachers. My niece now teaches English at the middle school level.
So, what made the difference? I often think about this situation. Why does one parent sing praises for a teacher that another parent despises? Why does one student say, "I love that teacher!" and another student describe the same teacher as the worst teacher ever?
I believe it comes down to this. We are all different. We are all in different places. As a 7th grader, I was the kid feeling lonely and insecure in this new setting. My niece was a confident 7th grader with strong friendships and background information on her future teachers. So, how do we level the playing field. I believe it comes down to kindness and compassion. I have often heard people give advice to new teachers, "Don't let the students see you smile until after winter break." I am in TOTAL disagreement. Showing and modeling kindness every day to each and every student will make the difference between a student loving school and hating school. Let's all take the pledge!
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