We don't get to choose into which family we are born!

I was lucky to be born into my crazy family.  Sure, everyone has issues that stem back into childhood, but overall, I believe I am one of the fortunate ones.  My mom and dad stayed married so I didn't have to deal with divorced parents.  Neither of my parents smoked or drank, so I didn't have to deal with substance abuse.  Both of my parents were college graduates, so I grew up in a college-going culture.  My dad was a minister, so I developed a strong faith.  My mom was a teacher, so I grew up valuing education.  Both my parents were hard workers, so I grew up with a strong work ethic.  I have four brothers and one sister, so I grew up in a very social atmosphere.  Yes, I was one of the lucky ones.

Some of us, aren't as fortunate as others.  Some of us are born into families where the adults are overwhelmed, absent, addicted, or defeated.  So, now what?  

Fairfield-Suisun Unified is doing a great deal of work in becoming trauma informed so we can better respond to the needs of our students.  Traumatic experiences in childhood can impact learning, behavior, and relationships at school.  Students who experience trauma are often unable to self-regulate their attention, emotions, and behavior.  Trauma may undermine the development of language and communication skills and can interfere with the ability to organize or remember new information.  Trauma impacts children's ability to cope with the problems of everyday life.

In the article, "How to Help a Traumatized Child in the Classroom" by Joyce Dorado and Vicki Zakrzewski, the authors provide educators with strategies in dealing with students who have experienced complex trauma:

1. Recognize that a child is going into survival mode and respond in a kind, compassionate way.
2. Create calm, predictable transitions.
3. Praise publicly and criticize privately.
4. Adapt your classroom's mindfulness practice.
5. Take care of yourself.

Remember, we may be the only stable adult in this child's life.

This past week, I met with our Chief of Probation who works closely with the students who are incarcerated into Juvenile Hall.  He told me the story of a young man who was in the Hall for quite some time.  During his incarceration, it was discovered that he had cancer.  He was released to his grandmother's care, as his mother and father were not in the picture.  The student, without the structure that was provided in Juvenile Hall, ended up making a bad decision and was expelled from school.  He is now 18 years old and awaiting sentencing.  The Chief told me about his recent visit to this young man's home.  "Man, it sucked.  That poor kid.  He didn't choose this life or this family.  The cancer has spread, and he now weighs only about 80 lbs.  He can barely talk.  I told him, 'Hey, I hope you don't mind if I just sit here for awhile and spend some time with you.'"  The Chief shared with me, from his perspective, how important and how influential an educator's job is.  He explained how school, for many of these kids, is the only prosocial behavior exposure these kids get. Prosocial behavior is social behavior that benefits other people in society as a whole.  In school, students are exposed to prosocial behavior such as following rules, helping, cooperating, taking turns, and volunteering.  He stated, "When kids get excluded from school, all that is left for them is to learn the antisocial behavior that gets them into a life of trouble."  He reminded me of the quote by Fredrick Douglass, "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."

When I became a teacher, I recall students inadvertently calling me "mom" instead of Ms. Corey.  The student would get so embarrassed and the other kids would laugh.  I loved it because I thought that in some way I was showing them how much I cared so they felt comfortable enough to make that mistake.  I know I wasn't always the most patient of teachers, but my hope is that they knew I cared.  Here's to building strong children together.  Let's all be the best "moms" that we can to the children who may not even be our own!