Celebrations! YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

This time of year is the BEST for public educators.  We are finishing out a school year and honoring our students at graduation and promotion ceremonies.  No matter which event I have attended, there is a packed house.  As students are being recognized, cheers are coming from the crowd.  Signs and balloons are everywhere.  The students who are being honored are told through these celebrations that they are important.  They matter.  We are here to see you.  We are willing to sit in 100 degree weather and through boring speeches to honor you.  

As we look back on life, there are certain moments that most people celebrate:  weddings, birthdays, and graduations.  I have dear friends who are master celebrators.  Because these people are my "family of choice," I have been invited to many Maddux-Smith celebrations.  They honor people in their family for the greatest things.  I have been to celebrations for promotions, having a part in a play, participating in a recital, baptisms, moving to another location, making it through boot camp, or coming back from serving our country overseas.  Every time, the person being honored feels so important.  There is always a speech stating how proud they are of the person being honored.  I have been the recipient of their honoring events, and it felt great!  What I appreciate most about these events is that their is no comparison to another person or another's achievements.  This is a time to just focus on the person being honored and letting that person know how important they are.

So, as I leave for my last graduation, I can honestly say that each of these students are important.  They matter.  It doesn't matter if you made it through by the skin of your teeth or if you are the valedictorian.  Each student goes through their own journey and deserves recognition.  At the middle school, perhaps the biggest accomplishment you were able to achieve was to show up and attend school.  You deserve to be honored because you matter.

Here's to honoring more and finding fault less!  ENJOY! 

Building on Strengths

The California Association of School Administrators (ACSA) has a recognition called, "Every Student Succeeding."  This annual event honors students who have overcome adversity and continued to excel and succeed.  It is a wonderfully emotional event that is truly inspiring.  It serves as a strong reminder as to the importance and positive impact education plays in a student's life and future.

One of the students told his story about overcoming his challenges.  He was being raised by his aunt.  His mother had previously died.  He was failing in school and suffering from anxiety and depression.  As a result, he gained a significant amount of weight and felt horrible about himself and his abilities.  After moving to a new school, a basketball coach took interest in the student and encouraged him to participate in basketball.  The student said, "Never did Coach focus on my weight or all the things I was unable to do.  Coach focused on my strengths and had me capitalize on those skills."  Because of this Coach, the student began to enjoy school, participate more, and feel better about himself.  A little less than a year later, the student stood before us having lost over 100 lbs.  He was fit, enthusiastic, and planning for his future.

Once we identify one's strengths, the environment around us can change.  I like what Thomas Armstrong wrote in the article, "First Discover Their Strengths" (Educational Leadership, 2012).  He wrote about creating "positive niche construction" and finding environments in which students can thrive. "Animals in nature do this all the time.  Beavers build dams.  Bees creative hives.  Spiders spin webs.  Birds build nests."  All of these creatures are building upon their strengths and creating their own version of a "least restrictive environment."  Focusing on the positive is contagious!

I heard a phrase recently that I am going to start using:  "Become a noticer of the good!"  It seems like such a slippery slope when getting caught up in the negativity of daily life.  Why is the path to positivity such a steep uphill climb?  The more and more we focus on the positives and be a "noticer of the good" in situations and in others, the easier the climb becomes.  There are individual benefits to becoming a "noticer of the good!"  Research shows that focusing on positivity and on your strengths is better for your physical and emotional health.  It boosts creativity, improves relationships with others, helps you tackle difficult situations, and assists in achieving your goals.  To me, this is a win-win!  Focusing on strengths in our students and others reflects back positively in our own lives.  

   

The POWER of SHOWING UP!

In California, our teachers go through a program called Beginning Teacher Support and Assessment (BTSA) Induction.  BTSA is system of support and professional growth that our teachers with preliminary credential go through to obtain a California Clear credential.  At the end of the year, all of the teachers participating in BTSA throughout the year come together for the BTSA Colloquium.  It is always an honor to congratulate and share a few words with our beginning teachers.  Each year, I am told by the director, "Thank you SO much for coming!  It means so much to have you and other administrators here."

Which brings me to the story I shared with the group this year.  When I was announced as the next superintendent of FSUSD, I was congratulated by a long-time fantastic clerical employee who works in the central office.  After her kind words, she said, "I don't know if you remember, but you were my son's teacher."  I was embarrassed to say that I didn't remember that.  She went on to tell me (which was so kind of her) that I was her son's favorite teacher and that he loved school that year.  She shared the story of how I had promised to come to one of her son's baseball games.  She told me, "I kept telling Ryan that I wasn't sure his teacher was going to be able to attend.  Teachers are so busy.  I didn't want Ryan to be disappointed."  I said to her, "Please, dear God, tell me I showed up!"  She exclaimed, "You did!  And it is what he remembers about you."  Little did I know that showing up to a baseball game would view me in a positive light decades later.

This story got me thinking about the importance of showing up.  It is so fun to see students perform, especially young students, and watch them wave enthusiastically to those whom they recognize in the crowd.  Students remember when their teachers and administrators attend events or are visible on campus or in the classrooms.  In fact, one of the biggest concerns I hear from teachers and parents involves administrators not being visible.

Everyone has a busy life and perhaps other obligations that don't involve attending students' extra curricular activities.  Nevertheless, everyone can still show up for these students in class, every day at school.  Being present and acknowledging our kids is so important.

I love the African Zulu greeting, sawubona.  This greeting means more than "hello."  Sawubona means, "I see you."  This traditional greeting says, "I see your personality.  I see your humanity.  I see your dignity and respect." In an article written by Glen Pearson in 2011, the author shared another important word, ngikhona.  This reply means, "I am here."  This word tells the observer that you feel you have been seen and understood and that your personal dignity has been recognized.

May all of us see others and feel as if we've been seen!  Show up and ENJOY!

What Students Remember...

Once a month, our Governing Board recognizes students from our various school sites.  A board member reads a glowing review about the student and shares all of the student's fine qualities that are deserving of this prestigious award.  The students are  provided an opportunity to address the community after receiving this honor.  Most often than not, the students express their thanks and gratitude for a teacher or  teachers in their lives who have made a positive difference.  They describe these teachers as kind, funny, and supportive.  The teachers who are called out are said to believe in students even when they don't believe in themselves.  Teachers are often given credit for influencing a student's career choice.  Last evening, one of our students, a graduating senior, thanked a person she called an inspiring woman.  This was her fifth grade teacher.  "I can never forget her kindness and dedication to making sure each student in her class excelled, not just academically, but in our own personal confidence so that we need not hesitate for chasing our dreams."  This student was so impressed with the help and support that she received from her teachers throughout her schooling that she has chosen to attend college and one day become a teacher herself.  

I am reminded of Maya Angelou who is quoted as saying, "People don't remember what you said.  They don't remember what you did.  They remember how you made them feel."  In my opinion, this is partially true.  I do believe that people remember what you did and some things that you say.  I believe the actions and the words may influence how you feel.  

For my South Dakota friends, you can share in the memory of our first day of 7th grade entering our English class.  The teacher slammed down his fist on the desk and yelled, "I hate 7th graders!"  I am sure he went on to say that he didn't like 7th graders because they were the newbies to middle school.  (We had a 7th - 9th grade middle school.)  He probably expressed how much we had to learn in switching classes and staying organized.  He might even had said how smart we'd be by the end of the year and how much we will have learned.  My classmates were probably not shocked by this speech as this teacher had taught for a number of years in this small middle school.  Many of my classmates had siblings who had heard this first day of 7th grade tirade. I was, however, new to the school.  I hadn't developed a network of friends.  I had no idea who these teachers were.  I was so scared.  Throughout my elementary grades, I love school!  I loved all of my teachers and knew I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.

I took this teacher at his word.  He hated me.  Every day, I dreaded going to this teacher's class.  For the first time in my life, I received a D- on a report card.  I cried and begged my parents to move back to our old town.  My mom finally stepped in and had a conference with the teacher.  The teacher tried to explain to me it was his way of establishing classroom control.  My perception changed very little in regards to this teacher that year.

Twenty some years after my 7th grade experience, my niece entered the same class with the same teacher.  She laughed as she told me about the teacher's "I hate 7th graders speech."  She said, "I just love that teacher.  He is so funny!"  This teacher became one of her favorite teachers.  My niece now teaches English at the middle school level.

So, what made the difference?  I often think about this situation.  Why does one parent sing praises for a teacher that another parent despises? Why does one student say, "I love that teacher!" and another student describe the same teacher as the worst teacher ever?

I believe it comes down to this.  We are all different.  We are all in different places.  As a 7th grader, I was the kid feeling lonely and insecure in this new setting.  My niece was a confident 7th grader with strong friendships and background information on her future teachers.  So, how do we level the playing field.  I believe it comes down to kindness and compassion.  I have often heard people give advice to new teachers, "Don't let the students see you smile until after winter break."  I am in TOTAL disagreement.  Showing and modeling kindness every day to each and every student will make the difference between a student loving school and hating school.  Let's all take the pledge!

We don't get to choose into which family we are born!

I was lucky to be born into my crazy family.  Sure, everyone has issues that stem back into childhood, but overall, I believe I am one of the fortunate ones.  My mom and dad stayed married so I didn't have to deal with divorced parents.  Neither of my parents smoked or drank, so I didn't have to deal with substance abuse.  Both of my parents were college graduates, so I grew up in a college-going culture.  My dad was a minister, so I developed a strong faith.  My mom was a teacher, so I grew up valuing education.  Both my parents were hard workers, so I grew up with a strong work ethic.  I have four brothers and one sister, so I grew up in a very social atmosphere.  Yes, I was one of the lucky ones.

Some of us, aren't as fortunate as others.  Some of us are born into families where the adults are overwhelmed, absent, addicted, or defeated.  So, now what?  

Fairfield-Suisun Unified is doing a great deal of work in becoming trauma informed so we can better respond to the needs of our students.  Traumatic experiences in childhood can impact learning, behavior, and relationships at school.  Students who experience trauma are often unable to self-regulate their attention, emotions, and behavior.  Trauma may undermine the development of language and communication skills and can interfere with the ability to organize or remember new information.  Trauma impacts children's ability to cope with the problems of everyday life.

In the article, "How to Help a Traumatized Child in the Classroom" by Joyce Dorado and Vicki Zakrzewski, the authors provide educators with strategies in dealing with students who have experienced complex trauma:

1. Recognize that a child is going into survival mode and respond in a kind, compassionate way.
2. Create calm, predictable transitions.
3. Praise publicly and criticize privately.
4. Adapt your classroom's mindfulness practice.
5. Take care of yourself.

Remember, we may be the only stable adult in this child's life.

This past week, I met with our Chief of Probation who works closely with the students who are incarcerated into Juvenile Hall.  He told me the story of a young man who was in the Hall for quite some time.  During his incarceration, it was discovered that he had cancer.  He was released to his grandmother's care, as his mother and father were not in the picture.  The student, without the structure that was provided in Juvenile Hall, ended up making a bad decision and was expelled from school.  He is now 18 years old and awaiting sentencing.  The Chief told me about his recent visit to this young man's home.  "Man, it sucked.  That poor kid.  He didn't choose this life or this family.  The cancer has spread, and he now weighs only about 80 lbs.  He can barely talk.  I told him, 'Hey, I hope you don't mind if I just sit here for awhile and spend some time with you.'"  The Chief shared with me, from his perspective, how important and how influential an educator's job is.  He explained how school, for many of these kids, is the only prosocial behavior exposure these kids get. Prosocial behavior is social behavior that benefits other people in society as a whole.  In school, students are exposed to prosocial behavior such as following rules, helping, cooperating, taking turns, and volunteering.  He stated, "When kids get excluded from school, all that is left for them is to learn the antisocial behavior that gets them into a life of trouble."  He reminded me of the quote by Fredrick Douglass, "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."

When I became a teacher, I recall students inadvertently calling me "mom" instead of Ms. Corey.  The student would get so embarrassed and the other kids would laugh.  I loved it because I thought that in some way I was showing them how much I cared so they felt comfortable enough to make that mistake.  I know I wasn't always the most patient of teachers, but my hope is that they knew I cared.  Here's to building strong children together.  Let's all be the best "moms" that we can to the children who may not even be our own!

Living in the PRESENT!

Today I met with my two AMAZING administrative assistants, Linda and Martha.  We were going through the calendar, and I expressed my frustration with how quickly time was moving.  In our jobs, it always seems we are living in the future.  We are planning for a future board meeting, ensuring attendance at future events, communicating with others regarding future plans.  As we sat together planning, we shared some laughs, told some stories, and enjoyed each other's company.  It was at that moment that I realized, we were living in the present and only just planning for the future!

I am a reader.  I love stretching my brain by reading books.  Currently, I am reading the book, Presence;  Bringing your Boldest Self to your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy.  Throughout this book, the author writes about the importance of being present, living in the moment, taking up space, or showing up.  It is amazing how the brain changes and our future changes when we live in the present.  I especially enjoyed the section on "showing up."  Many times I have mentioned that often times we get credit for things just by showing up.  In particular, the author spoke about the importance of showing up in times of crisis, trauma, or sadness.  I couldn't help think about my dogs, Peetie and Bella.  I love them so dearly, and they epitomize living in the present and showing up.  No matter when I come home, they are there to happily greet me as if I am a long lost friend finally home from a month long journey.  Whenever I am feeling down or discouraged, they snuggle up to me and provide me comfort just by being there.  One section of the book reminded me of my friend and colleague, David Isom.  "Sometimes we express ourselves most eloquently by not expressing anything--by allowing our presence, unexplained and unembellished, to speak for itself."  It is called the Ministry of Presence.  How many times do we find ourselves in a present situation expressing desire for something better in the future?  By just being there, we embrace our present to make our futures different and brighter.

This past week, I had the wonderful opportunity of spending  lunch time with a student whom I met a few weeks ago when visiting an elementary school.  The student and I connected somehow by sharing maggot stories.  I was so excited to bring him a present which was the book written by Camilla de la Bedoyere entitled, Would You Rather Dine with a Dung Beetle or Lunch with a Maggot?  I had other books about snakes, insects, and scary animals to bring him.  I had found some plastic insects that I taped all over the gift wrapped books.  We had a delightful time reading books, sharing stories, and learning interesting facts that we never knew.  I realized that I received the best present that day....enjoying the present.  

The best part about living in the present is having wonderful past memories!  Wishing you a wonderful present which will pave the way for fond memories and a bright future.  ENJOY!

What we give makes all the difference!

Thanks to Sticks and Steel, a unique store in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, I have this wonderful sign hanging in my office window:

I reflect on this daily.  I know I am able to pay my bills, put gas in my car, and purchase new things by what I "get" at the end of each month in the way of a pay check.  My life, however, is enriched by what I am able to give.  In some ways, giving and getting are an infinity loop.  I have often found that what I give is often weak in comparison to what I get back in return.  

A major "infinity loop" I experience in my job deals with positive thinking.  I notice how those employees who have a positive vibe tend to have classrooms filled with positive students, work with positive colleagues, and enjoy their professional and personal life. Those departments with a positive outlook are filled with laughter and employees who love coming to work each day. 

There is plenty of research to support the power of positive thinking.  According to positive psychology researcher, Barbara Fredrickson, positive thought can creative real value in your life and help build long-lasting skills.  When one views things positively, emotions broaden one's sense of possibility and opens one's mind to options.  Positivity promotes exploration and creativity allowing people to broaden and build their future.  Fredrickson's research on negativity indicates that it inhibits future growth.  With negativity, the is a focus on immediate threat and danger rather than on developing valuable skills and appreciating the big picture of life.

Author James Clear writes, "To put it simply: seek joy, play often, and pursue adventure.Your brain will do the rest."  

I believe that children at a young age understand this!  They give freely of affection.  They give freely of emotion.  They give in to wonder, excitement, dancing, and singing.  That is life! 

Despite the negativity that tries to infiltrate my life on a daily basis, I am choosing positivity. I choose to give it each and every single day.  That's what I call "making a life!"